President Bola Ahmed Tinubu has assured Nigerians that the welfare of civil servants is “my number one priority,” a statement that immediately triggered nationwide laughter, throat-clearing, and cautious optimism across ministries, departments, and agencies.
The declaration, delivered with presidential certainty, has reportedly left some federal staff refreshing the Treasury Single Account to see if fresh zeros have magically appeared beside their salaries. Others were spotted holding prayer vigils around salary slips—just in case priority translates to payments.
According to the President, his administration is “working relentlessly” to improve the conditions of public workers. Anonymous civil servants interviewed after the remark translated “working relentlessly” to mean “set up committee, inaugurate panel, await white paper, delay implementation until next government.”
One long-suffering civil servant at the Federal Secretariat in Abuja told reporters, “It is good to know we are number one priority. But in Nigeria, being a priority is like being on a waiting list in heaven—you know it exists, you just don’t know when your turn will come.”
Economic analysts warned Nigerians not to confuse a “priority” with an “actual intervention,” explaining that in government language, “priority” is usually followed by “pending fiscal review,” “subsequent approval,” and “subject to availability of funds.”
Meanwhile, at the Office of the Head of Service, staff celebrated modestly, not with drinks but with fresh photocopies of the President’s statement, to remember what hope looked like before deductions swallowed it.
As the statement continues to trend, civil servants across the federation are united in one sentiment: if welfare truly is number one priority, they eagerly await number two, three, and four—perhaps starting with something radical like salaries arriving on time, arrears disappearing, and allowances being more than a rumour passed down through generations.